Processing Through Emotional Triggers

Notice how you respond to a loved one who is struggling vs how you respond to God’s love for you when you are having a hard time. This activation gives you a chance to be curious and see what happens when the Lord is pouring into you. Is there resistance? Do you accept His love fully? If there is any resistance, stay curious about that and use this as an opportunity to continue growing in fully accepting His love for you.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing)

I want to use EMDR to calm my nervous system & shift my beliefs. Can you guide me through this technique?
(Listen to the audio below to go through this process)

Common Protectors & What They Are Protecting​

PROTECTORS:​

Supervisor, “If I don’t manage it, it will fall apart.”

This is the inner manager, like the air traffic controller of your life.
How it helps, in its mind:

• Proactively stays two steps ahead so you’re not blindsided by conflict, disappointment, or someone’s mood

• Reads tone, silence, facial expressions, then adjusts you quickly to keep things safe

• Over functions to create stability, if she carries the emotional load, you won’t feel the panic of things getting messy

• Keeps you useful and needed because in her logic being needed lowers the risk of being left

• Fixes, explains, apologizes, smooths, fast, so tension doesn’t turn into rupture

What it’s really protecting you from:

• The fear that if you stop holding it all together, everything, and everyone, will fall apart, and you’ll be left alone in the mess

Scolder, “If I’m not enough, I’ll be rejected.”

This is the inner critic, like a strict coach with a whistle.
How it helps, in its mind:

• Proactively criticizes you before anyone else can so you’re not shocked by disapproval

• Pushes perfection because she believes flaws equal rejection

• Keeps you appropriate and easy so you don’t risk being too emotional, too needy, or too much

• Uses shame like a steering wheel, if you feel bad enough you’ll try harder and stay accepted

• Attacks mistakes to prevent humiliation because she thinks being judged would be unbearable

What it’s really protecting you from:

• The fear of being exposed as not enough, then being rejected, embarrassed, or made to feel like a burden

Scrutinizer, “If I don’t do it right, God won’t come through.”

This is the spiritual monitor, like the student who thinks love comes from getting an A.
How it helps, in its mind:

• Turns connection with God into something measurable, did you pray enough, read enough, obey enough

• Proactively keeps you busy with right things so you don’t have to sit in uncertainty or wait in trust

• Watches your motives closely because she’s afraid God will withhold if you’re not sincere enough

• Tries to prevent disappointment by controlling the process, if you do it perfectly then you won’t be let down

• Avoids honest intimacy, disappointment, confusion, grief, because it feels spiritually dangerous

What it’s really protecting you from:

• The pain of hoping and feeling let down, the fear you’ll be left alone in disappointment

Scatterer, “If I slow down, I’ll feel what I can’t handle.”

This is the busy spinner, like a hummingbird, always moving because stillness feels too honest.
How it helps, in its mind:

• Proactively keeps your mind full so your heart doesn’t get loud

• Starts new things because starting feels hopeful and helps you avoid the fear that comes with finishing

• Distracts with plans, research, scrolling, projects, one more thing, because movement feels safer than stillness

• Overcommits because it makes you feel important, valuable, and needed

• Avoids completion because it can trigger exposure, what if I fail, or what if I succeed and can’t keep it up

What it’s really protecting you from:

• What rises up when life gets quiet, grief, fear, shame, disappointment

Snapper, “If I don’t react fast, I’ll get hurt.”

This is your emergency responder, like a smoke alarm, loud and fast because danger feels close.
How it helps, in its mind:

• Reacts instantly to protect you from feeling vulnerable, anger, shutdown, withdrawal, defensiveness, escape

• Reacts fast to create distance because getting away feels like safety

• Goes into fight, flight, freeze, fawn, to keep you from being caught off guard emotionally

• Takes over your voice and body because it doesn’t trust calm will protect you in time

• Would rather you feel regret later than pain now because pain feels like the bigger threat

What it’s really protecting you from:

• Old pain where you felt unsafe, powerless, unseen, or overwhelmed

PROTECTING:​

 Sufferer, “If I finally feel what I lost, it will break me.”

This is the tender wound underneath it all, the part that learned to whisper because speaking didn’t feel safe.
How it helps, in its own way:

• Holds the truth of what happened, loneliness, disappointment, rejection, pressure, unmet needs, so you can keep functioning

• Keeps grief contained so you can keep showing up, serving, smiling, and being fine

• Absorbs the messages you picked up in painful seasons, my needs don’t matter, I’m too much, I’m on my own

• Stays hidden because exposure once felt costly, when you were honest and it didn’t go well, or you needed comfort and didn’t get it

• Carries longing for love, safety, tenderness, and being held, quietly, so you don’t have to risk hoping again

What it’s holding:

• The original ache, I was alone when I needed someone, I didn’t get what I needed, if I want again I might be crushed

• The fear that if you finally feel the full weight of the loss, you won’t be able to breathe through it, and no one will come to help you

Protectors Explanation + Table Revelation Encounter